The Need To Be Mainstream

India is a strange country. Nearly a billion people and yet one thing everyone yearns for is acceptance. The need is now an obsession. More and more people are following this trend of buttering up to popular opinion and the results are hilarious.

I have a friend who I would like to describe. He is a normal 20 year old college student who likes to keep abreast of the happening things in college but lately he wants to pretend he enjoys all of it. Recently, he was introduced to the world of TV shows and voila he cannot stop talking about F.R.I.E.N.D.s. Overnight his topic of conversation revolves all around Joey and his nincompoops. He has seen the series 4 times over and claims to have laughed equally hard each and every time. The zany part is he doesn't get half the pop culture references and yet he laughs hard (probably at his own stupidity, who knows).

In a bid to be different a lot of Indian kids are into football. My friend too is so cool he doesn't watch cricket. Football all the way he says. Manchester United is his favourite team it seems so much so that in 2015 Cristiano Ronaldo is his favourite player and 'Manu' will win the cup this year as well. He boldly predicted that 2014 FIFA world cup would be won by Spain and once they were knocked out he supported Brazil till the 7-1 drubbing when he miraculously became a Deutscheland supporter. The ironic part is he couldn't name a single German player if his life depended on it.

Recently, he saw the Oscar's and he yapped about how Barney from How I Met Your Mother (American TV's up yours to Karan Johar and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai) was so awesome as a host though he seemed clueless throughout the Birdman parody. The other day I visited him and saw that he is downloading Birdman along with other Oscar nominated movies just like he does every year. This is not because he watches them it is just documentary evidence that he has them (not necessarily watches, BIG difference).

The Indian stand up scene was still pretty raw and unknown when I asked him to watch these hilarious YouTube videos and podcasts on Soundcloud which obviously fell on deaf ears. Then came the controversies and all of a sudden he was a big fan of comedy. The same was his sudden interest in house music which coincided with the arrival of Swedish House Mafia for a show in Mumbai. Another fun fact: he doesn't know the difference between EDM, house music and trance. Worse still he is now all geared up for the Ed Sheeran show in March. Now what genre would that be in his mind. (Metal probably!)

I could probably go on and on and on about him but the problem is not him. The problem is that there are many like him. All the things I spoke of existed for a long time before he chose to be a big fan of them which he was oblivious to but the moment he realised the social benefits attached to following or claiming to be a fan of all the above things he toed the line. There is no independent thought process involved in it. For all you know he doesn't enjoy some of it yet he prefers to 'smile and wave' so that he is not left out. It hinders one's ability to make decisions and judge on his own. All you get is a flock of brainless, ignorant sheep who will soon or later fall prey to herd mentality. He is the guy who plays puff-puff-pass just to fit in and then realise he is addicted to smoking.

I wonder what is next for him. Anurag Kashyap movies I suppose.

Shows: Here, abroad and away

February marks the return of my favourite anti-hero politician, Frank Underwood in the popular political drama House of Cards. What worries me more is not that I need to use torrents to watch this Netflix masterpiece is that this show is not remotely matched by any Indian TV show. Cable TV has been in our life for a significant period. I remember having just 9-10 channels on my old CRT TV and watching whatever came my way because frankly I had no choice. Today, I have access to around 600 channels and yet i dont have access to quality content. The reason: Indian TV channels don't make it and what is made abroad is so heavily censored it doesn't make any sense.
My criticism is limited to Hindi channels mainly because I haven't bothered to learn other Indian languages (technically speaking English isn't an Indian language). A general glance through the TV shows which play around prime time and there is a blaring similarity and a stark difference (By Stark I dont mean Game of Thrones). The similarity being they all revolve around the day to day lives and internal squabblings of a huge joint family having a Gujarati or Marwadi or predominantly North Indian heritage owning some hitherto unknown large business which never seems to face the brunt of recession and whose wives and daughters have nothing better to do then dress pretty and fight petty. The difference being the production house and actors Period. That's drama for you. The comedy side is a bit different yet not so great. Comedy in our country is restricted to stereotypes and mimicry. A Sardarji is automatically funny (no thanks to the SMS jokes) and a South Indian is dark, wears a lungi and speaks with an ununderstandable accent (yet to meet such people in real life). The level of jokes are infantile and depend heavily on canned laughter or the immaturity of the audience.
I remember the channel Star One being that breath of fresh air that Indian audiences got. Great shows like Sarabhai
Vs Sarabhai, The Great Indian Comedy Show, Siddhant, Special Squad and Remix made their way to Indian homes. Finally something to please the urban masses who felt left out in all that saas-bahu gibberish. Content which appealed to my sensibility without insulting my intellect had arrived but it didnt last long. Back then i used to crib how good shows come and end but horrible ones last seasons on end. It is is now that i understand that quality content has a finite life which when stretched makes it unbearably appalling.
My relationship with English shows started with CSI. Watching it made me realise the stupidity behind a show like CID which is nothing but a bunch of goods acting as cops who investigate crime and get a confession from the culprit by slapping him hard in one location and automatically landing up at their headquarters which looks like an abandoned commercial complex in Malad.
Slowly, i moved on to F.R.I.E.N.D.S and other shows like The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Modern Family and even went back in time to watch British satire Like Yes Minister (adapted in India as Ji Mantri Ji) and Mind Your Language (adapted as Zabaan Sambhal Ke). The content and performance in these shows were so good i was and still am addicted. The other day i somehow managed to watch a few Indian shows which my neighbor was watching and guess what...Its still the same. Yes, there are a few changes in cast and maybe mindset but nothing substantial. Quoting Barack Obama 'You can put lipstick on a pig but it is still a pig' thats exactly what Hindi shows have become today.
There was this brief period where indian TV decided to start copying shows or formats of reality show. Baby steps in taking international formats and sticking it in the Indian context started with Kaun Banega Crorepati went on to Indian Idol and just didnt stop. Disney channel even copied show with a comical name change. (Suite life of Zach and Cody became suite life of Karan and Kabir)
Even if they were good these shows were copied. I wait for the day indian TV brings sensible content for the educated, Urban youth and I write educated because of shows like Roadies.
What is frustrating is not the lack of good shows and content, even the west adapts screenplay from books but that we adapt Chetan Bhagat shit. Till the time someone changes the rules of television and spells their names without k i guess i have to stick to American TV.

The Right to be offended

Being part of the YouTube generation I have enjoyed watching foreign comics perform different forms of comedy right from monologues to improvs and wondered when will we get to watch this stuff in India. Slowly yet steadily the Indian comedy scene exploded with the likes of AIB, SnG, East India Comedy and even a few video shows like The Viral Fever. Stand up shows, YouTube shows, handful of podcasts followed in the years to come but one thing I eagerly awaited was a 'roast'. Having seen the likes of Charlie Sheen and James Franco getting insulted like no tomorrow I kept dreaming of the day that Indian society and Indians learn to laugh at themselves. And finally it happened. The AIB Knockout was that morning cup of tea which the Indian comedy scene desperately needed. The group managed to get Bollywood to laugh at itself. The same Bollywood which threatened to launch their legal eagles for a stupid trailer spoof. Bravo AIB but wait...

There was just one big, massive, gigantic problem(not Tanmay)...some people (not the people who got roasted) didn't like the manner in which the tea was prepared and the government which has always turned a blind eye to everything from rape to riots suddenly decides to investigate. Just like the Dhoom 3 trailer spoof the 3 course meal served on YouTube was taken back.
Yes, AIB is known for their brash, slightly crass style of comedy which incorporates youth lingo (which is actually quite filthy) with a range of current affairs with no room for flattery. Just a few episodes into their podcasts and you get what I am talking about.
Is the roast something out of the blue for AIB? NO. Are the topics something we don't talk about?? Again..NO. Did the people who got roasted have an issue with it or felt defamed or hurt?? Surprisingly, NO.
Honestly speaking, everyone reads Bombay Times just to catch upon the weekly filth being flung on our celebs whom we all love to hate. The criticisms ranging from their sexual orientation to their physical appearances are something we have all made in the privacy of our homes. Yet the concern we show for their reputation when it comes to the roast will bring a non-glycerine induced year to their eye.

'Yeh hamare sabhyata ke khilaaf hai' is something we often hear when it comes to the Indian context.
What exactly is your sabhyata?? The same sabhyata which tells a wife to jump in her husband's pyre or that which tells you marry your daughter off to a dog or even a tree. There are many dark sides to our culture which would make the roast seem fairer than Rohan Joshi. (Tired of all the black guy jokes on Ashish Shakya)

Then there were many of my friends who asked me to look at it from a parent's perspective which is equally obnoxious. I have never seen a roast as a child but I have clearly understood everything being said in the manner it was to be interpreted. My point being kids will learn such Shit anyway no matter how hard you try to stop them.

Then come the 'apeing the west' accusations. There are so many thing which come from globalization and the exchange of culture, pop culture being one of them. Just because we adopted certain aspects it doesn't mean we are blindly copying it. Entire movies and songs are copied from the west (in some cases even east. Ask Pritam) but no one bats an eye. Right from Who Wants to be a Millionaire to Big Brother we have copied formats of shows and what offends you is a roast. Maybe if MTV had made it as a show called Roaster it may not have drawn so much flack. I am so glad shows like the Simpson's or Family Guy are not so mainstream. There are many shows and events which should warrant such attention (EDM concerts for one, kids taking drugs which destroy their brains which they seemingly lack since they are at an EDM Concert) but in my opinion AIB has paid the price for going mainstream.

In a 21st century democracy, we still like to play the man with the remote. Censorship is the single biggest slap to freedom of expression and till society doesn't grow up nothing is going to change. The people who didn't like the roast or found it distasteful could just stop the video and forget about it. Who gave them the right to decide what offends the sensibilities of others. They are like a peeping Tom with only difference being they have an opinion about everything and worse, they shove their opinions on the people they peep on.

Our constitution has given us an entire list of rights and duties. The page about duties is a big blur and of the rights that we conveniently remember we sadly exercise the right to be offended.